Tuesday, June 26, 2007

I've moved!

For the seven or so people who stumble upon this blog by accident and may happen to read it on a whim, I'd like to announce that I'm moving this blog to Wordpress, as I fancy their setup alot. Blogger's been a great home these past years and I've thoroughly enjoyed blogging here.

Wordpress allows me to migrate all of my posts, since the inception of this blog in July 2004, over there.

So follow me and spread the word...black market wit has moved!


Thursday, May 24, 2007

Summer Movie Thoughts...

Alright, here we go...

Shrek The Third - a funny movie (I loved the part where we see The Gingerbread Man's life flashing before his eyes) but it's missing a plot and just feels like a direct-to-DVD movie. No rip on the film's enjoyability factor; it's merely a lesser film than the other two.

28 Weeks Later - Yawn. After a high-energy opening which could induce heart attacks in those prone to heart issues, the film reveals itself to be nothing more than a gore reel with cardboard characters with no definition whatsoever. The first film is a masterful look at humanity on the edge, with well-articulated characters and a storyline that resonates. This sequel is a big letdown.

So far, the summer movie season - adding in Spider-Man 3 has been 0 for 3 for me. Three sequels, all have been sub-par. I was not a fan of Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, finding the comedy to be far too prevalent. From what I understand, Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End is darker, with less hijinks and more plot. I sincerely hope so.

But most of all, I'm really looking forward to seeing Bug this weekend. William Friedkin (The Exorcist, The French Connection, Sorcerer) directed it, it's based on a play by Tracy Letts (he also wrote the film's screenplay), and looks to be a truly terrifying piece of psychological horror. It'll be nice to see a smaller budgeted film amongst the maelstrom of summer movie mania now taking over movie theaters. Also, Waitress finally comes out here this weekend! Yay! The late Adrienne Shelly's writing and directing debut stars Keri Russell and Nathan Fillion and is a movie I've been very eager to see. Poor Mrs. Shelley was murdered by an illegal immigrant construction worker after she'd complained of the noise the construction crew was making. From all accounts, this film is a lovely slice of cinema and to support her vision and also the career of Nathan Fillion (Captain Malcolm Reynolds on the very awesome Firefly and Serenity), I'll be seeing this the very first chance I get.

Monday, May 14, 2007

My "Spider-Man 3" Thoughts...

So I finally saw Spider-Man 3. I'd give it two-and-a-half out of four stars. To quote the song from the musical episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, it just felt like everyone was "going through the motions". Granted, the action was superb and there was more Venom than I thought there'd be (Raimi and company got the look and the feel right; I just wish there'd been more Venom.) but alot of it felt like a retread (the whole MJ/Peter I love you-get away from me-come here-I'm sorry game they play) and the actors looked like they were ready to hang it up. Has anyone seen the actors doing press for the film? They're bored! When the interviewers ask about a fourth film, you can see Tobey/Kirsten/James Franco's eyes glaze over and then they give that generic response, "Well, you know...let's just see how this one does...I mean, we just finished this one so let's wait and see." (Translation: We were contracted for three films and that's it.) So yeah, it's the least of the three. It's worth a watch but don't expect the emotional resonance of the second or the spectacle of the first.

A few thoughts...

*spoilers below*

When Harry was killed, I thought, "Well, there's once actor that didn't want to come back for a fourth film." Also, so the Alfred-clone butler has let Harry sulk and be all melancholy for years, allowing him to mope about the mansion and blame Peter, but only when the plot calls for it does he say, essentially, "Oh by the way, Peter had nothing to do with your father's demise...your dad killed himself. Sorry I waited five years or so to let you in on that fact. It's just, you know, I've been busy...what with the dusting and the cooking...and this *is* a big ass house, you know...it took me this long just to find where the hell you were."

So does anyone see Raimi getting back in the director's chair for Spider-Man 4? I don't. I suspect he'll go make a modestly budgeted horror/thriller to return to his roots. I just hope Marvel and Sony don't pick some idiot to replace him. I think that Bryce Dallas Howard as Gwen Stacy was brought in for Spider-Man 3 to be a potential replacement for Kirsten lest she not return for a fourth film. And to touch on another point that others have made, I think Jake Gyllenhaal would be excellent as Spider-Man should Tobey opt out of returning; I also think Jake's a better actor than Tobey.

Anyway, those are my thoughts.

I also saw The Ex, which is a very enjoyable comedy starring Zach Braff, Jason Bateman, and Amanda Peet. Not a rush-out-to-the-theater movie, but still one worth your time, I thought.

My mother received a $25 gift card for Regal Entertainment Group. So now I can save the 2 passes for Trademark Cinemas. Decisions, decisions...

Thursday, May 10, 2007

change of plans...

Thanks to a super cool connection, I'll be able to see Spider-Man 3 without using my passes. I've decided to use my two passes to Trademark Cinemas' Victory Square Stadium 9 for this film, which comes out tomorrow. It's getting rave reviews as a beyond intense and very unsettling experience...

I thoroughly enjoyed the first film, Danny Boyle's 28 Days Later. This sequel draws upon that film but branches out into its own entity, from what I've read. Plus Robert Carlyle's in it and he's awesome in anything. I can't wait to see this. I've not yet finalized when I'll be seeing it but I figure I'll treat my horror movie-loving mother as a belated birthday present/Mother's Day present.

Monday, May 07, 2007

So...Spider-Man 3 And Ice Cream...

Thanks to....

I'll be seeing this soon...

You see they have a Sunday morning feature they call their "Beatles Block". You can submit three Beatles songs for them to play during that time. If selected, you win a large three-topping pizza from Papa John's (which I already redeemed a week and a half ago) and a certificate for two passes to Trademark Cinemas' Victory Square Stadium 9 to see a film of your choice. This particular theater had been closed for almost ten years. Then in November, Trademark Cinemas re-opened it, after spending $1 million renovating and refurbishing it with stadium seating and digital sound. Plus it has a soda fountain and a butter station. I'm eager to see what they've done with the place. Regal owned it way back when but closed it after declining sales and rowdy crowds (at night it can be an unsafe environment) forced them to. Thankfully, this new company has a strict policy - children 16 and under *must* be accompanied by an adult. So I look forward to seeing Spider-Man 3, even if the reviews have been lukewarm at best, and seeing it at this new theater.

I've done it! I finally caught up with Heroes! I had a marathon early Sunday morning, and finished watching all of the episodes I'd stockpiled on my TiVo. From "Godsend" (episode 12) all the way through the most recent episode, "Five Years Gone" (episode 20). Now I'm all ready for tonight's episode, "The Hard Part". This show constantly amazes me with how great it is. I can't
wait to see where it's going!

I vacuumed the living room about an hour and a half ago, then made scrambled eggs and toast for my mother and I. She's currently sleeping, a few feet away here in the living room - in the recliner, per her doctor's orders, as she had surgery last month on her right arm to help alleviate her fibromyalgia pain; while they were in there they removed a bone spur. She's healing nicely but can't sleep in her bed for a while; her first physical therapy appointment is tomorrow.

Groceries will invade our house tomorrow and if I am not able to procure this...

I will become a whirling dervish of ass kickery. I have longed to try this culinary colossus but no stores in the area have had it. Boo! What the hell?! I mean it, area supermarkets - you'd better have this in stock or it'll be my wrath you'll have to deal with!

More thoughts will tumble out later...for now, it's time for sleep.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters - IN MOVIE PLACE ROOMS TODAY! GO SEE IT!

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters

This came out today. At that place with the tasty popcorn, the cup holders, and stadium seating. No, I'm not talking about the truck stop showers. I'm talking movie-watching buildings. You need to go see this. Awesome things need to be shown love. Like the 1984 Henry Thomas/Dabney Coleman movie Cloak And Dagger. And this movie. So go see it. Now. I mean it. Get your lazy ass up and go. It's your duty as an American to see this movie. You can do that thing you were going to do later. So, in summation, go see Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters now. And also click on the above poster to go to the movie's official website. You don't want to be called a name for not doing either of those things. Names like "feeny" or "dorkula". Or "Kevin's Mom".

Still not certain, well sink your ocular orbs into this!

Critics are talking...with words they speak!

"...don't expect a coherent plot..."

- Claudia Puig, USA Today

"Succeed[s] enough of the time to make a perversely entertaining movie."

- Peter Travers, Rolling Stone

"Crudely animated, tasteless, and totally pointless, which I'm sure the filmmakers would say is the point."

- M. K. Terrell, Christian Science Monitor

"The big question for fans is does Aqua Teen Hunger Force have enough gags and giggles to translate to 86 minutes on the big screen? And the answer is ... yeah, sort of, well, maybe."

- Bob Townsend, Atlanta Journal-Constitution

"Narrative's beside the point in a movie created by two guys who gorge on pop culture's high-fat diet and regurgitate it into something approaching . . . art? Close enough."

- Robert Wilonsky, The Village Voice

"If George W Bush could prove that Saddam Hussein had funded this movie I would reverse my stance on the Iraq War and say that every single civilian casualty was justified."

- Devin Faraci, CHUD.com

"You have to give these guys this much: They remained true to their twisted vision, and that's exciting to see."

- Christy Lemire, The Associated Press

"By the end, you may feel as if you've been ballroom dancing with a live, exposed electric guitar cord for an hour and a half. At peak performance, it's wired, chaotic madness."

- Jan Stewart, Newsday

Thursday, April 05, 2007

I've seen Grindhouse!!!


I do believe my ass got handed to me.

I echo the sentiment of others, that Planet Terror feels more Carpenter-esque (especially Rodriguez's excellent score) than '70s grindhouse but that makes it no less enjoyable. I thought Jeff Fahey's BBQ joint owner was a terrifically quirky character.

As for Death Proof, I found it to be a different animal altogether. I've read comments that it's a bit too talky for its own good, and that's a valid point; however, it never felt like I was watching a series of boring monologues. Death Proof is a diametric opposite to the over-the-top mayhem of Planet Terror, and when the final third of the movie starts, it's white knuckles all the way. Kurt Russell is great as always; Stuntman Mike is a crazy psychopath and Russell is full of maniacal glee throughout.

And the fake trailers? Edgar Wright's Don't was the best faux trailer; the packed crowd I saw this with loved every moment: the "scratchy print", the "commercials", the "motion picture ratings" and every "missing reel". The 3 hours and 15 minutes flew by.

This weekend, you can see a kick-ass double feature that'll make you rediscover how much fun going to the movies can be...or you see a founding member of N.W.A. in a remake of Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House.

is an exhilarating experience, one I can't wait to enjoy again.

(Plus I received a free Grindhouse poster.)