so...

I'm currently listening to an archived edition of today's Morning Sedition. I'm off from work today to accomodate a co-worker who has another job. I'll be picking up her Friday morning shift. We get paid that day and we badly need some grub in this house! Mother Hubbard's not the only one to find the cupboard bare, let me tell you.

Well that was rather lovely. Brunch, that is.

Head on over to http://www.serenitymovie.com to discover that Serenity has received a PG-13 rating. Hopefully this means that the marketing will be ratcheting up and we might be getting an earlier release date.

I saw George A. Romero's Land Of The Dead last Saturday night with two friends. One of them was nice enough to pay my way but we had to put up with an entire back row of fucking Neanderthals who thought any and everything was funny. Managers kept having to come in. One of my friends and a friend he'd bought left. My other friend James who'd graciously paid for me stayed, as did I. He got a refund afterwards.

Yesterday, through one of my connections, I saw the film again with my mother. It was a much better experience, although the fuckers playing with their cell phones during the trailers (*ESPECIALLY* Serenity). Look, you're at the movie. Drop the goddamn technology and pretend that there's something more important than your social life for more than fifteen fucking minutes.

Wednesday brings the release of War of the Worlds. Mr. Cruise, shut your cult-loving ass up please. And your publicity stunt romance isn't helping matters. And for all of you dream-loving, starry-eyed young ladies who feel that I'm crazy and that Tom Cruise would love nothing more than to explore the vast expanse of your loins, just stop it. These ladies think that there's simply NO WAY that he can be gay. Hell, I'd never given it much thought until recently. But all of these incidents are pretty peculiar. So for all of you females out there constructing vast fantasies involving Tom Cruise, I have two words for you: Rock Hudson. And two more: Cesar Romero. And another two: Robert Reed. So stop pretending and face reality. I'll still see the movie. I'm hearing it's dark Spielberg, not sappy Spielberg, which is aces in my column.

Tonight at 8 the lying monkey will stand in front of soldiers at Fort Bragg, NC and attempt to pretend like Iraq is a magical land where unicorns will flourish and many will swim in peaceful rainbow rivers if only we stay there for another century. Wrong again, asshole.

Then after you've laughed your ass off, tune in to laugh even harder as Comedy Central premieres, at 10:30PM...

http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/stella/index.jhtml

STELLA



Head on over to http://www.stellacomedy.com

The three gentlemen above started out on MTV's The State sketch comedy show. If you've never seen, I'd hate to be you and I'm sorry. The new series, based on their comedy troupe of the same name, follows the three guys as they get into all sorts of weird and wacky misadventures. One television critic likens the series to "The Marx Brothers on acid". All three met at NYU 17 years ago and started performing as Stella in New York in 1997 and embarked on a sold-out tour in 2003.

Well, USA Network is changing its on-air look, logo, and tagline.



USA: Characters Welcome

It looks a bit Picasso-esque, don't you think? In any case, I'm glad to see the tired flag logo being retired. It was due for a new look. Now if only they can stop airing insipid Adam Sandler comedies and Meet the Parents ad nauseum and start investing money in more original programming and series and blending that with movies new to their network, that'd be swell. Don't get me started on SCI FI. Besides Battlestar Galactica, that channel's dead to me. Until they start firing corporate executives left and right (namely the evil, evil, Bonnie Hammer), SCI FI's doomed to be the antithesis of what its namesake states.

Well, dinner's on.